Tell me how to say, I'm not afraid, I'm strong and everything is gonna be okay.

iTunes : Hey monday - 6 months

"I'm afraid, still afraid. It isn't that easy. I never thought I would felt like this before. How can I forget the memories? bad memories."

I'm afraid to say yes.

Afraid to have a new life.

Afraid to take a chances.

Afraid to start something new.

Afraid to get down and can't get up anymore.

Afraid to love you more than this.

Afraid to make you hurt or either cry.

Afraid to feel the same pain.

Afraid to feel worry for a long night.

Afraid to always think of you.

Afraid to hear you say goodbye.

Afraid to make a fake promises with you.

Time flies. But heart stays. And they're just trying to kill me. Slowly but they sure. How long this feelings will stays strong in my heart? I'm tired, tired of fake smile and I can't stop saying, I'm afraid.

promises

Promise each other.

Will do, i promise. aaah to be honest i hate making a promise.

To be honest you still have to make that promise.

I know :)

It's to push us.

Moreover it feels like we have something to be fulfilled :) something in common. something good that will keep us to be together.

I don't care about me in the past, in a year ago, two years ago, or how-many-years ago who really hate making a promise. Because I'm living my life now. And I really hope that you won't break our promises so someday I won't feel 'that' feelings anymore. I won't hate to make promises again with you when we are living together and getting old.

its official

hi. its official.
i've just graduated from senior high school.
say Hello to college stuff.
and yappp.... i'm so ready!

enjoy the pictures, buddies!


Siswa berprestasi 12 IPA:

you may called it 'blur' but i called it 'another focus'

the girls😘

ki-ka: Nando-Me-Rhea-Nisa

Candid

Zweitausandzwolf

LAST BUT NOT LEAST.... certificate dedicated to me as siswa berprestasi.. Thank God<3

When I'm Falling Love

I do. You do. Everybody does. Everyone has been fallin' love. 
This feelin' is inside your heart, sometime we just can keep it in our heart. Rite? Honestly, i have my own story. 
I've never been falling love like this. There's someone, that make me like this. Make me can write all of these things. I don't need to tell his name, cs i know, you know. Ahaha. 



Dude. I have a little lyrics for you here. Wish we could make this 'lyrics' happen to be a pretty 'songs' :)

I'm sorry for all mistake that I've made.
I know it was really bad.
But actually i do all those things.
It is because of one thing.

I've never thought that i could have the best thing in the world.
With you, my life is more precious like a gold.
Maybe I'm too young to say this, but if i could.
I would love to marry you, dude.

Maybe you think, it's like a joking.
But this is what my heart says.
Wish this is what urs says too.
Because, i'm afraid to losing you. 

Fyi dude, if you read this 'thing' it means that i was remembering about every little things that we do together. And i wish, we could do it 'till forever.

ilysm, Le♥.

Happiness

What is happiness?
Happiness means Joy, Smile, Laugh, No sadness, No pains, No tears, Love, Family, Friends. 
A perfect happiness isnt when you spend your money to get things you want. But its when you can spend your time with people you love the most.
For me.
Happiness means 3 wonderful alphabets.
Which are: 
Y-O-U.
☺

trust no one

Well, about 10 minutes ago, i was thinking that i want to share something down here. Have you ever trust a person, like a hundred percents and when someday they broke it up, you just sooo hard to trust them again? Likeee you need a year or more to make "the trust" come back to urself? 

Like what tumblr says: 
Trust. Years to earn. Seconds to break.
Trust. once you break it. You'll never get it back.Trust is like a paper, once it crumpled it can't be perfect.
I have problems trusting people. Bcs i've been screwed over so many times.

Maybe i'm one of them who has problems with trusting people.
Is anybody here know how to get 'em back?
It's hard, because I'm not Rihanna the one who loves the way people lie.

Bcs big or small lies are lies, right tumblr?





<3, Dea

perfect boyfriend

The perfect boyfriend, he would scream "I love you" down the halls not caring who heard him. He'd go on a walk with me in 60 degree weather, hot cocoa in one hand&my hand in his other. He'd sing out loud to any song even if i call him retarded. He let's me sing out loud and wont call me weird. He'll let me look like crap wearing big tshirt and shorts and still calls me beautiful. He'd come to my house at 9 in the morning to wake me up on the weekends. He wont be shy around my family but acts like he's part of it. He'll argue with my friends that he loves me more. He'll keep every single promise he makes. He'd run up and hug me whenever he sees me. He wont be scared to dance in front of me or act retarded. He'll spend my birthday with me and my friends. He'll remember our anniversaries before i do. He'll call me at night, right before i go to bed just so he knows he's the last voice i hear. He'd push my hair away when it's in my face. A boy who wont ask me whats wrong when i look sad, he'll just kiss me on the forehead. He'll give me his sweatshirt even if he's freezing and wont make me feel guilty about it. He'd never get jealous because he already knows I love him more than anything and when he says FOREVER, he means it no matter what :) 8 things a great guy would do:
1. Makes u smile when u're down
2. Gives u a goodbye kiss even when ur friends are watching
3. Holds ur hands in a perfect time
4. Be funny but knows when to be serious
5. Reacts so cutely when u hit him though it actually hurts.
6. Stares at u when he think you don't notice
7. Never give up and leave even though u told him he's annoying, ugly, etc cus he knows you need him in ur life
8. Waits for an hour just to spend a minute with you.

When a boy calls you hot, they look at ur body. When a boy calls u pretty, they look at urface. When a boy calls u gorgeous, they look at ut clothes. But when they call youbeautiful; They see everything.

saturday

just got back home from GI watched madagascar 3 with my-future-hubby IT AMAZES ME! yay!



and i saw mothercare, toyskingdom are discount. just made sooo much plan with ole, hope it comes true, amen :-)


and we bought these shirts!

isn't it cute? such a couple shirt. belinya pake uang tabungan kita :")

AAAANDDDD I must admit, you were not a part of my book. but if u open it up and take a look, you're the beginning and end of every chapter..

Do you hate me? It's ok. I hate myself too.

I got 99 problems, and they all BITCHES.☺ I used to be Normal, I used to love myself! But now? Guess not. I think I'm useless. U knw? Like nobody needs me. Well, I wish boyfie needs me. But like srsly!!!!!!! EEF this. I'm going to Hogwarts. I mean I WISH I'm going to Hogwarts. Well if there's such a thing hahahaha. There's a whole in the world. Like a-great black pit &it's filled with people who are filled with shit. Do you guys notice that? World are so random, filled with people who are filled with shit. Hahahahahahahahah. Screw this. I don't really care if you guys hate me. Screw what you say about my bad reputation. You shits have a bad reputation too, am I right? Shame on you. Fuck all ever happens in this shitty little town. You and I gotta improvise.

People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. &&sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together

10!

Thanku For every songs that u sing to me..

Happy Anniversary my treasure Gold. I don’t know what it is about you, maybe it’s the way nothing else matters when we’re talking, or how you make me smile more than anyone else has. It could be the way that you say 
the exact right thing and exactly the right time but whatever it is, i just want you to know that it means everything to me. Thank you for bringing me rainbows after my darkest nights of all time. You have no idea of how much you mean to me. I Thank God also, that i'm still holding you tight and i thank God for you so affectionate. I love you. Be with me for the rest of my life <3 YOU-KNOW-I-LOVE-YOU Deandra♡

Thanku for made my friday night awesome. loveu Guys!♥