Is it too much? Ehh?

Hey thereeee is it too much if i said i miss you when we just met this noon? Aaah i miss you more each day 

 hhh having my heart beating so fast just because chatting with ole's mom. I know its too much. But, Le aku gapernah dikenalin gt. I swearrrr never been so panic before never been senorak ini before never been sesalting ini before!! So, wajarlah ya....Talk bout future:$ i know im too young to say this buuttt you know life is short i want you to be my last. I dont want another man. Is it too much to ask for? And Le, could you please hold my hand and tell me that everything is forever? ;) 

I can't believe someone as ordinary as I am could have someone so wonderful as you are hahaha thankyousomuchh le for being sucha great guy for me. Youre a boy that a girl couldnt ask for more. IloveyouevenGodknows<3 

Thankyou :-]

Today, this morning. The sweetest moment, so far. After fought all night long just because the same damn thing. Get shocked by your bbm "dea aku dibawah" i replied "boong" he came to my apart just to say sorry hehehe never been so happy before. Never thought youre so damn sweet haha am blushing:$ gatau mau bilang apalagi but thanks for being the best boyf ever. 
believe me Le i wont have a fight in my relationship with you but sometimes it shows me how important you're in my life.
I have one quote that i love the mostttt! 
 "I've already given up a lot of things in my life, but you're the last thing I won't."

I feel like, I love you more each day. And not knowing how, or why or from where. It just happened from the very first time I met you in high school. And you've changed me, so much. In a good way. To be a better person for you. To do everything good for you. To understand you. To be happy seeing you smile either with me or not with me. I thank God for letting you to be here with me. I thank God for letting me to have you around. And you always beside me, everytime you can make it.

Actually, I have an un-post blog in my note. but I think, that's just too much so I won't post it. And so here I am, trying to write another blog. And talking about the quote in the first sentence, yes, it's true. I promise to my self that I will never give up on you. I will never stop fight for you. And will always stand for you no matter how might hard the condition is. I love you to infinity and beyond, Ole. Forever Mine. Forever Yours.
Thankyou for made promises, noww show me you'll never break the promises that we made together. iloveyouLe. icantfindanyotherwordstoshowyouwhatifeel.

Hoaaaahhh! Got my report card, not too bad got rank 2 from 18 peoplee on my class.  iThank God. Btww im so happy got my holiday for over 2 weeks ahead. Means that i can lying in my bed all day, watching a lot of dvd's haha you know what? I SMELLED HEAVEN already. Have a plan to go to Puncak to celebrate new year's eve. Hows your holiday? Uh-mazing? Mine sooo great so farB) 

i miss youuuuu way too much!

hhhhh how are you there? fine? feelin better? much better? where hv you been? i miss you way too much. i miss you so badly and i cant stand it. signal please be friendly at least for this 2 days ahead. :'c

i cant go a day without talking to you, Le. i really cant. aku kangen Le, tolong..... i wish you were here. got nothing to do, been nowhere not in the mood. taugaasih Le kebawa mimpi nih, setiap bobo kebangun malem terus langsung check handphone. ternyata blm ada kabar dr kamuuu. bbm/sms/telfonku gaada yang masukkkk! huh tau bete gaaa? #nowplaying wish you were here- avril lavigne. hhmmm aku minta maaf bgtbgt Le, i know im sucks. i know im stupid enough. aku ngiranya kamu masih marah garagara kmrn pagi thats why kamu gamau ngasih kabar ke aku terus aku jadi bt+kesel bgt sm kamuu. Leeeeeee!! gmnsih caranya ngmg sm kamu at least for a minute just to hear ur voice tau kangen banget parahparahparaaahhh. maafin aku bgtbgt ya sygggg. maaf banget. kamu pasti kesel bgt ya sm akuuu skrg.....huhuhu kgnnnn :'c iloveyou! come back soon dong! nanti kita main sama nduti sama teddy lagi yah sayaaanggg makanyaa ayoo cepet pulang yaaanggg! :'c

Believe

so, fortunately I found this beautiful quote that will be my topic for now;

If you can't bring yourself to believe in him, what's meant to be won't be.

and YEP! that was the 'click'! just like other people said, if you had a dream, you have to believe that you can reach them. and just like Mariah Carey said, there can be miracle, when you believe.

well that was too far. but the point is, Believe.

that one sentence was said by Take. I might not have to force something to be happen, because when it supposed to be happen, then it will be. and so I thought I have to believe in him. no matter if every little thing forces me not to do, but if I believe in him, everything that meant to be or maybe I want to be, it will be.

the point is, I miss Ole.

HEHEHEHEHE.

no. there's not the point. the point is, I do believe in him. with all my heart. with all my conviction. because on the other side, I want something good to be happen if I bring my self to believe in him. something good that related to us. to our relationship. and because I want him to believe in me too that I will never lie to him even if the environment force me to. I believe that trust is one of the important thing in any kind of relationship. he's my man, he's my best friend, he's everything I could ever wish for, he's the one I wanna share my life with and I pray to God, please make him to be my future.

you just have to believe that someday, your prince will come to pick you up to the greatest and happiest feeling you may have in your life

-

Everything seems ryt til i found out those notes on ole’s phone. It pissed me off. It reminds me about what happened 2 years ago. Im the type of a girl that won’t believe in any guy that time this traumatic feeling wont go away til i met you, Le. you make me forget bout those shit moments. But ryt now, those shit moments happened again, twice in my life. Pretty sad, eh? I thought you’re different. I thought you are a man who can treat her girl ryt. I tought you’ll never break my heart but once again thats just my thoughts :”””( when i knew bout that notes i tried to cheer myself up, i keep smiling, no matter how much things making me sad on the inside, i kept on talking with you lyk everything is okay, I tried to hide what i feel inside. Im fine. I’m totally fine. you’ll never know how it feels, Le hahaha but i’m okay.. you just see a smile that i fake. But i can’t lie to myself. I’m disappointed. Ihateyou but iloveyou more that i hate you. I love you way too much. cause when you truly care for someone, their mistakes never change our feelings because its the mind that gets angry but the heart still cares. But you know, you can say sorry a million times say iloveyou as much as you want say whatever you want whatever or however you want but if you’re not going to prove that the things you say are true then dont say anything at all. If you can’t show it your words dont mean a thing for me. Iloveyou but i yet belive in you anymore. I’m sorry Le. this massive pain is still aching me. #nowplaying Thankyou for the broken heart by J Rice.

Today is our anniv, it feels different yahh :’c

Sorry for not being a perfect girlfriend. i get jealous easily. I’m stubborn. I pms. I overthink. I get insecure. But i promise you that my heart its all yours.. i’ll be loyal i’ll be here when you need me. I’ll love you to the greatest extent i can. I’ll do whatever i can to hold our relationship together. Happy 4th months anniversary, Le.. thankyou for being there when i need you. I hope it will keep on..